Why you shouldn't bet against Oscar the Grouch
For a long time now, I’ve believed in the power of positive thinking. That is, if I think positive, I’ll fail miserably. That’s how powerful positive thinking is. If I think positive, I’m positive I’ll lose. And I think the opposite is true – if I’m negative, I’ll win. And last Sunday when the Chiefs squared off against the Raiders at Arrowhead Stadium, I was proven right. The Chiefs won.
I predicted days before kickoff that the Chiefs would lose that game. And, except for a few minutes right after kick off, I was negative through the entire game. I never thought we had a chance (“we� – as if I suited up and played). Brett agreed that it was one of my best games: Four quarters of unwavering pessimism. I bitched non-stop the whole time.
I was focused on the game and the team. On any given Sunday, there are thousands and thousands of people at Camarohead who, by way of mullet or Andre Rison jersey, deserve the ridicule of my arrogant jerk self. But Sunday, I directed 100% of my pissiness toward the Chiefs. Ok, I did get a little pissed at the guy who was too obese to make it up the steps, yet wouldn’t return to his seat with less than three beers. But other than that, I was focused.
Every third down, I said, “They’ll have to punt.� Every time Dante Hall was deep to receive a kick, I had no doubt that he’d go nowhere. “Trent Green will bounce this one,� I said. “Third and long – they’ll try to trick ‘em and run it up the middle.� I had nothing positive to say for well over three hours.
And they won. The Chiefs won on a play call that the media went nuts for, a win or lose last second play. Of course, it seemed an obvious call to me. They’re not going to make the playoffs, they’re terrible terrible terrible, so you might as well go for it. They won’t make it, but it wouldn’t matter.
They made it. Because fate or karma or whatever likes it when I’m wrong. So I should point out that I’m positive that the Gremlin Grill isn’t going to win anything at all in the 2006 barbecue season. Nothing. Terrible, terrible