Gremlin Grill

1. A rack of ribs. They looked to be St. Louis cut, sans sauce, and not vacuum packed, so pretty freezer burned. I can rebuild them - make them better than they were. Better, faster stronger.

2. A package of five pineapple brats. We had these made special for a contest, so they're not labeled. No idea how old they are, no idea what contest they were for, and tragically, they couldn't be saved. Oscar Goldman and $6 million bucks wouldn't even be enough. They're gone.

3. Two turkey pot pies.

D. The brisket we burned at the American Royal last year. It'll be good in beans.

3.14. About 15 pounds of split chicken breasts. Again, not good. They look freezer burned and angry. I know how they feel. One January night when I was about 16, we were tooling around the country roads of Henry County, Illinois - about 9 of us in an old Chevy truck. Somehow, I wound-up riding in the bed on the way back to town. Remember when Steve Martin and John Candy had to ride in the back of the truck in Planes, Trains and Automobiles? "How cold do you think it is?" "One." I was colder. It was easily 40 below in the bed of that truck. And no, I wasn't accompanied by a small town girl with a clear skin smile. I was alone with my letter jacket, a tire iron, a manure shovel and my wits. By the time we stopped, I was pissed. The rage warmed me up, but good. That's how the chicken feels, I'm sure. What's worse is I left it there.

6. Tons of microwave thingies that Sara takes to work. Just leave those alone.

7. Stock. Lots of soup stock. I have some kick ass smoked turkey stock in there.

H. Fish. I don't know what kind it is (it's white-ish, but not white fish), and I don't know when I bought it, but there it is. Fish.

#. One half empty can of High Life. I must have set this one on the shelf in the garage (keg) freezer while I was getting something else out and forgot it. It's still there, too. And yes, it's half empty, not half full.

10. Chili. That still looks good.

12. One hambone. It was the older hambone, not the one from this Christmas, but it was sealed and perfect. It was seasoned with whole cloves, and I wanted the newer bone because that ham was much sweeter. I wanted to see if there was a big difference in the soup. But, I was done looking. My fingers were frost-bitten, I'd barely looked past the first layer in two of the three fridges, I was a little bit scared, and I'd lost another half empty beer. So I made the soup.

Dry navy beans soaked over-night. Stock made with the hambone. When the bone had not yet given its all to the stock, I dumped in the beans. They cooked together for a good 45 minutes. Out came the bone. Cooked the beans another hour or so, then added mire poix. Meerie-Pwah. Onions, carrots, celery. Bless you, celery. I let all that all cook until the veg are at the tenderness I like (couple hours at a low simmer), then finished with a few pats of butter. Freakin' yum.

It's gassy around our house, and the freezers need further exploration, but it was a damn good pot of soup.