Thankfully, there were were no meddling kids
Look, I’ve been busy, so shut up. And I forgot about the chocolate sauce pork. Forgot, that is, until I woke from my holiday food coma. At 6 am one day last week, I was fading fast from an overdose of Christmas canister popcorn and peanut clusters and little sausages wrapped in bacon. But when we stray from our path and wander into the dark moors of food complacency, we look to what we know and trust to guide us back to the road of enlightenment. That morning, I remembered a man whom I trust. I trust Shaggy.
The Cartoon Network’s Boomerang channel has the original episodes of “Scooby Doo, Where Are You?� Not the crap with Scrappy. Watching that is like chewing-aluminum-foil. And not the born-in-a-boardroom-bullshit Pup Named Scooby Doo. Why, in the 1980s, did people decide that old cartoons could be rebuilt stronger, faster, cuter, if the classic characters were suddenly babies?
I digress. In the episode Spooky Space Kook, Shaggy and Scooby make a sandwich. Yeah, they make a lot of sandwiches, but this one, crafted with Chef Shaggy’s inimitable style and flare just before the gang began their investigation of the ghost-alien-whatsit (the glowing skull inside the space suit guy who screamed like a very happy howler monkey) at the abandoned Air Force base, was heaven-sent. Or maybe Hanna-Barbera sent. When Shaggy topped the layers of Limburger, onions, meatloaf, baloney, etc. with chocolate sauce, I remembered my bad idea from back in September. The chocolate and pork idea.
Not coincidentally, I had half a rack of baby backs in the fridge, cooked the week before with the Gremlin Grill’s old sweet rub. In spite of the wrestling match I had with a chilly wind off of the lake the day I smoked them (I lost that match, but won by having an oven. Bite me, winter), the ribs were damn good. Which begged the question: would they be better with chocolate sauce. I found the answer:
No, not really.
I basted a rib with grocery store-brand chocolate sauce meant for ice cream. It wasn’t bad, and I found more sauce was better than less. But it wasn’t all that great, either. I hate to say it, but it was just OK. But there was something there. I have no idea what it is, but there is something there. I’ll get back to it later.
Comments
Maybe this year we invest in a chocolate fountain to fit into the Amba-lance.
(you've not yet written on the Amba-lance)
Posted by: brother, not Al | January 13, 2006 1:24 PM
Sara'd like that. In fact, I think it's in Holly Robinson-Peete's book: "If you really hate football, make your husband put a chocolate fountain in the tailgating vehicle."
I was going to figure out how to put pics on this thing before I got into the amboolince.
Posted by: paddy | January 13, 2006 2:28 PM