Gremlin Grill

Call me crazy, but I’d put my ham and navy bean soup up against any in the world. Dammit. My chili has won competitions. Not big competitions, but it’s damn good chili. With beans, by the way. Cram it, Texas. Gimme a chunk of Velveeta, an onion and whatever canned crap you have in the pantry, I’ll make a pot of orange-yellow heaven out of it. I make a smoked chicken & noodles that’ll make you wet yourself. I could out-soup the soup nazi without being a fascist. So just what happened last Sunday?

Call me a schmuck, but I thought the cheesy corn bake would do it. Take the published Jack Stack recipe, doctor it up with some quality Gruyere, sharp Irish cheddar and some brisket rub, and danged if it ain’t just a casserole dish fulla love. Every time I’ve made it, people beg for the recipe like whiny little Oliver Twists with cheese goo on their shirts. "More, Pat." So where did it fail last Sunday?

Call me out of my league. Our block, rockin’ block that is the 200 block of Lake Waukomis, Missourah, held a block party Sunday. I thought the cheesy corn would be great, even though I threw it together in about five minutes after Sara woke me up. Yes, that firestorm-exciting Chiefs-Broncos game left me snoozing on the porch. But she woke me in time, and the cheesy corn was ready at five. It was good, though could have used more rub & some salt, and I thought I had a winner.

Call me defeated. And full. I realized when I saw my neighbors’ food, that on our block, when it comes to side dishes, I am out of my league. Because on our block, we got…grandmas. The grandmas out-cooked me, no doubt about it. Sara and I sat that night, dizzy from various veggie and pea salads, creamy tetrazinnis and tomato-ie pennes, and rich, creamie dessert thingies. We agreed that I, barbecue guy of the block, if not the entire Lake, am not in the same class as grandmas of the side dish.