No, I've never had their ribs. We'll get to that later. I hope.
So we’re 20 miles into Kansas Saturday when Sara says nope. We’re not going to test drive a Magnum (hemi) in a snow storm. What does one do when the weather’s too bad to be out and about? Go get something to eat. Duh.
Let’s get something straight: there’s never a bad time to get something to eat. A snow storm isn’t going to stop me. When Sara said to turn around, before I even started looking for an exit, my mind was going through a list of restaurants between us and home. The list:
O’dowd’s®: good pint, but we were there the night before.
Ixtapa: Mexican food in a snowstorm? There’s something about that I like, but I wasn’t in the mood.
Hereford House®: didn’t feel steaky. Ever not feel steaky? I didn’t feel steaky.
Tasty Thai or Malay Café: Sara’s suggestions, but no, no. She dragged me out in the snow, she didn’t get to pick the restaurant. She could buy, but she didn’t get to pick.
Applebee’s®: No.
Houlihan’s®: ding. We have a winner.
We turned around, quite possibly cutting through someone’s yard. I don’t remember. I was focused. Because what had began as an ill-advised trek through a blizzard into Jayhawk territory to buy an admittedly very cool, very fast car had turned into the ideal Saturday afternoon. At 4 pm on a Saturday afternoon in January, there is no better place to be than a booth at Houlihan’s. Here’s why:
• NCAA basketball on televisions that aren’t screaming at you. Don’t get me wrong, I love sports bars. And if I’m watching Mizzou or a team I really want to scream for, I don’t mind the TVs and other fans screaming back at me. Saturday, I wanted to watch some basketball and talk to my wife, Al and Terry, and the waitress who obviously had a thing for me or would have if I wasn’t 41, married, beer-bellied, and eating calamari like it’d swim away if I slowed down.
• Calamari. I’ve had calamari in restaurants from KC to Greece, literally, and Houlihan’s is perfect. This is what all squid should aspire to be. And Houlihan’s respects diners enough to know that we do, in fact, want those glorious and delicate tentacles waving at us from the plate. “Welcome to the perfect afternoon, calamari. This is my wife, Sara. I think the Duke game is on the TV to the right.�
And that’s it. Oh, yeah: Houlihan’s also understands that food brings people together; it’s true everywhere and always has been. And Houlihan’s understand that the food, atmosphere and attitude matter. But mostly, it’s the calamari. And a properly poured pint of Guinness. Then seven more properly poured pints, plus mini dessert flights so I can enjoy pint number eight without being interrupted with half a pound of cheesecake that Sara can’t finish.
When I have my heart attack - and who we kiddin’: it’s coming. Yeah, I got my Denise Austin-prescribed 30 minutes of cardio today, give or take, but I also had half a bag of Oke-Doke® Hot Cheese popcorn for dinner. I’m a foodie, you know. But right now, my biggest worry about that heart attack is that Houlihan’s calamari is on the other side of St. Luke’s Northland hospital from my house.